All Posts in Category: Dating Advice
Will You Only Date Tall Guys?
You see it over and over again in in women’s online dating profiles. It always goes something like this: “I like to wear high heels so you need to be at least 6 feet tall.” They might even include a polite, “sorry guys” before or after excusing such a need for a tall mate.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a certain attraction…
Unfortunately, this need for a man over six feet tall is quite possibly one of the biggest reasons so many women stay single for so long. There just aren’t a ton of the tallest guys out there. And in a 1978 study, it was found that pretty much ALL of the women preferred a man who’s at least 4 inches taller than themselves. A man’s height is often one of the top requisites when it comes to choosing a mate. Tall guys have it made in the mating game.
What is it about Tall Men?
H. G. Beigel’s study in the Journal of Psychology done in 1954 showed that most people attribute the qualities of dominance, fearlessness, leadership, protectiveness and athleticism on tall men. Men taller than 6 foot 2 inches also tend to command a higher starting wage.
When you look at the short guys, these same traits automatically imposed on their taller brethren need to be proven. Unfortunately, not many of them get a chance to prove themselves in the dating arena due to this stigma against shorties.
So What is the Average Height for Men?
In the general American population, the average male height is 5’9”, a shrimpy 3 inches shorter than the most desired height of 6 foot tall. That’s a huge difference!
So ladies, here’s where things get bleak. According to Blink author and super-economist, Malcom Gladwell, only 14.5 percent of all men are over six feet tall. To push this point a little further, only 3.9 percent of males are 6’2” or taller.
I hope you can see how desperate you are making yourself by only giving time to tall guys; there just aren’t a ton of them out there. Now consider age. Most women set their required age range within 10 about years of their own. That 14.5 percent is distributed among men of all age groups so now that 14.5 percent becomes closer to 8 percent adjusting for the top and bottom age ranges you find sexy. What if you prefer a certain race over another? When you throw race into the mix, that 8 percent just became closer to 6 percent, possibly even 3 percent. That means 94% of all eligible males in your area are immediately written off just because of your height bias.
The odds get exponentially worse if you add any other requisites to the mix.
This hasn’t even considered the need for your other necessary qualities such as kindness, generosity, intelligence, or sense of humor. How many of that 3% of tall dudes you’re willing to date comes with the full-package list?
The odds are not at all in your high-heel-wearing favor.
What’s a Tall Guy Lover to do?
Before we get into advice, I have to disclose that I am 6 foot tall so this bias has only ever worked in my favor (and believe me, I am grateful!). So I’m not writing this article to convince girls to date little me. It just seems to me that the reasons for wanting the tall guy are not really relevant anymore. It meant life or death back when we were cavemen. Short cavedudes weren’t as imposing as the tall ones and his family was more likely to be attacked because of it. We live in a society where we don’t often need to defend ourselves so large men are not as meaningful to have around.
Also, I’m not trying to talk you out of your attractions. Some of the things that make you purr are so deeply ingrained in who you are, it would be like asking you to live a lie to give them up. But in my book, The Art of Irresistible, one of the major points to having an amazing dating and relationship life is to find guys who fill your heart and soul with overflowing goodness because of who they are instead of what they are.
I’m not going to lie to you, the odds are getting worse and worse that you will ever find an amazing man. Today’s guys are straying as far away from honorable and social and empathetic as we’ve ever been in history. Technology has isolated us all and then add the fact that there just isn’t a call for (or ever a reason for) him to “be a man” anymore. This goes beyond the generations-old gender mandates that are totally outmoded and speaks just to the notion that being a man is simply about having a personal responsibility that’s attractive in all human beings.
If this trait of responsibility is THE ONLY must-have on your attraction list, then I’d still say you are only looking at 40% of the eligible guys in your dating pool. If they also have to be 6’1” or better, forget about it!
What is Really Important When Looking for a Man?
It’s not his height. It’s not his income. It’s not his sense of style.
It’s in his heart.
How many tall guys have stomped all over your soul? How many sexy dudes have slept with you and then cast you aside? How much longer are you going to limit yourself to a tiny percentage of men who have a few superficial things about them that make you gaga, yet bring nothing else to the table to make you happy and feel loved.
Tall guys are great, but awake guys will love you like you’re the only person in the world. Set your sites on an UNCOMMON man instead of someone who would be a successful caveman. It might be weird to be able to look eye to eye into your man’s eyes, but when you are looking soul-to-soul into each other, you’ll know exactly what I mean!
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